I wanted it write it down so I wouldn't forget.  All of this was thought of by me, and not a copy of anyone.

While tree's bloom and birds sing, my heart will always beat for you.

In and out through space I swim marking the stars as my friends.

To imagine ourselves greater than we are is to give to a future that we will someday become.

As I drift upon the sea, I feel myself becoming one with the whole.

As my thoughts stray to future past my mind wonders endlessly though time.

Broken and shattered I'm left strewn around with no one to pick up the pieces left behind.

As my insides turn and my outsides twist I'm left but just a fracture of myself.

As I awaken to the desire, I reach to new heights hoping to reach my eternal bliss.

My heart bleeds, yet is awakened in the light in person that is you.

In all my life I've never felt so much sorrow, as I did when you left my side.

As my eyes shut, they are left wondering what has yet to be seen.

The shield you created to protect yourself, has made it impossible for those that care to get in.

When the flames start to spread, I see the way it was supposed to be.

As my tears flow, I feel a new ocean created in my wake.

My cup has been spilled, leaving no one to drink from it's contents

As my soul withers, it is left wanting for the times it missed.

When your here, my heart is aflame, when you leave it freezes, only be rekindled a blaze when you return.

It's not the fall that hurt, it was the dusting off to try again where I failed before.

 I ended up losing my job pernamently on July 1st. They didn't close to remodel ,but went out of buisness instead. I am still currently jobless, having applied to just about everywhere. Two months later I am now finally getting unemployment money. I had to leave my old place of residence and move back home to live with parents. I'm fortunate to have someone to turn to. Otherwise I don't know what I what have done to have no money for 2 whole months. There are pro's and con's to every descision. Living back at home, I feel better, and not under a ton of stress from ex roomates and being bombarded to 'shit out money' .  Internet out here is hit or miss and not as good, but I have it. 

My health for the most part is greatly improved. Except for a new hightened allergies .  Not having to forage for food , so I'll be fine. Hopefully something turns up for the best.

One door closed is another Open. 

Just an update, as I haven't been around much of late. 

Things were starting to look up for me, only to be shat on.  My health issues are much better, I still get the swelling but kind of infrequent and random, but it doesn't last as long. 

I was told this week I'm going to be laid off in a week or two. For an undeterminant amount of time. The place I work at is going to remodel the store, they don't know how long it will take. And I won't be working there to help during the process. Where I am now, much like most other places, no one is hiring. So I will be going on unemployment the day of. I've already applied to several places as of the begining of the week with nothing. 

I was planning on moving , but now the way things are going I might be hitchking , be a hermit and live in the woods. I have no idea where I will be in the coming days or weeks. 

I'm feeling tons better, swelling for the most part is gone, gaining some strength back. Still have a little calf swelling and pain. Ankles and Knees still hurt a lot more so in the evening. I made a mistake at work and tried to lift something I shouldn't have before I was good and better and paying for it. Wheither it's getting meat back in my diet I'm not sure, I have gained back a lot of weight. I was 118 pounds at the doctor 2 weeks ago, and I'm up to 127 pounds now. Completely broke though, and I seem to be hungry all the time, I can eat like 5 times a day now, I'll eat half a pizza for breakfast and half a pizza for lunch and still come home and eat steaks, full salads, entire platters of fruit like I'm a black hole. Not that I drank a lot of cokes before I've cut back even more and replaced with water, drinking about 1 to 2 liters of water a day plus various fruit juices.  So all and all better, but not good yet, still heading to bed early for the most part and sleeping a lot to try and rest my body as much as possible. 

Moldiver

 Well I've gotten half my doctor results back, most things came back postivite for nutrient and vitamin levels.  Still waiting on further results, but the swelling seems to vary by the end of the last few nights my feet have been swollen more than before. This morning feet were fine but calfs were swollen and hurt to touch and move. So waiting to see what the doctor says. I may have to go in for MRI's to see if is something more serious that the doctor can't test for. I've been trying to stay around more, but I can drop at anymoment to go rest.