tellitlikeitis blogs

I have never written a poem for pleasure before, but I really felt a need to.

FOR EVER

What stops a poem for stretching on for ever

Is the writer's ability to use fewer words and be clever

Day 30

The final day of my 30 day blogging challenge, and a good time to recap on what has happened during those 30 days I think:

Number of people adding me as a friend – 1
Number of people removing me from their friends list – 2!
Number of ‘crimes’ still regularly being committed – All of them
Number of propositions for cyber sex I have received – 0
Number of items censored – 3
Number of repetitions - 0
Number of orgasms I had over the 30 days – 1 more than Mrs ALM had in September
Number of abusive comments on my profile/pics – 1
Number of nice comments on profile/pics – 17
Number of days I thought I’d pack it in and fail – 30
Number of days I’m glad I carried on – 29
Number of people I know I got through to and changed their behavior – 0
Number of different countries I resided in – 4
Number of people correctly guessing who I am – 1
Number of hours of my life I’ll never get back spent writing the blogs - 12
Number of cigarettes smoked while writing the 30 blogs – 46
Number of pairs of underwear ruined – 1
Number of objects surgically removed from my ass – 1
Number of repetitions - 1


I hope I have entertained as many people as I have pissed off, and hope I have helped a few people to realize they really shouldn’t take the shit in here too seriously.

Life is what you choose to make it, I chose to make mine into a soiled pair of pants, I hope you all achieve similar success in yours!!

If anyone has any other challenges for me, please let me know, and I’ll be happy to ignore them!

Thank you for staying with me for the 30 days

x
 

Day 29

Some people, when they have uploaded a  set of pictures would post a link to them, like this:

http://www.yuvutu.com/modules.php?name=YuGallery&action=view&set_id=15551
http://www.yuvutu.com/modules.php?name=YuGallery&action=view&set_id=15608
http://www.yuvutu.com/modules.php?name=YuGallery&action=view&set_id=15610

 

I, of course, will not stoop as low as to be a self publicist because I REALLY don't take my pictures that seriously, unlike others that claim they don't, yet clearly do.

Since posting these pictures I have received an unbeleivable amount of completely obscene PMs in my inbox. All kinds of requests that disturbed my mind.  The 2 requested sets I did upload were mild compared to some of the filth people expected me to do!  GuitarGirl and Exwife - you should be ashamed as to how depraved your minds are! - Kyxtian - your requests have been passed to the authorities both in the US and here on the Faroe Islands!

I do my best to meet people's demands, and on many levels, had fun doing so with my camera.  But whenever anyone, I guess, uploads photos, there will be always some that push requests and expectations too far, that think that because you have shared yourself publicly, you become their personal property to pose and make demands of as they see fit - and that pisses me off!

Day 28

Is it just me, or does it piss anyone else off too when they take their time to write a blog and all the comments that follow are about an earlier comment left! The point of the original blog is lost as the comments become more interesting than the original post itself! Now with many blogs I read, I’m actually a bit surprised that this doesn’t happen more often, but I always kinda hoped it would never happen on mine!

Have I moaned and thought about things so much that I have actually become all that I hate? Those of you who look at my soon to be uploaded pics I took while appearing drunk on cam in the chat room while using a different ID to see if any one was bitching behind my back may think so!

I'll be spamming the link A LOT, and will probably even write a blog specifically about them! The pics will of course be deleted and reposted after 6 months rather than taking the time and effort to take some new ones, but I will pretend the re-post was by popular request! They will also appear with a completely misleading title to encourage more views

And, just to point out, I still have not got one cyber fuck as a result of this blog challenge!

Thank God there are only 2 days left, because as you can see, I really am running out of ideas!!!

I'd love to stay and have a proper moan, but I'm kinda hooked on the game of Cluedo being rolled out on Day 27's comments!

Day 27

When I'm drunk, or smoked too many drugs that I shoundn't have, I don't look good. I act like a bit of an ass. No. I act like a LOT of an ass. I’m loud. I bore. I offend. I insult. Generally I piss people off, including the neighbors as I play my crap music too loud.

When I'm in that state, I can’t focus, I slur my words, and I fall over. A lot. I can't keep track of a conversation I'm having and will usually go off in a different direction, annoying those I'm talking to and making them wish I wasn't there.

When I'm in that state, I find it works best if I just go off to a darkened room and be on my own. We have all been in this state, and in this position, and I do believe the darkened room is the best option.

So why do some people when they reach that point think the best plan is to turn up their music loud, go into chat and turn on their mic and cam? Now that does piss me off!

Day 26 I have noticed that on my anti spamming blog, people spammed in their comments. in my anti love declaration blog, people declared their love! Today I want to just say how it pisses me right off when people have cyber sex with me!!!! So please, comment away!

Day 25 - Feeling bloody and  beaten, but I carry on in the face of criticism - But I'll never stoop to writing a political blog and thinking people should or will care about it!  And remember, my challenge was 30 days of things that piss me off - not 30 days of making people laugh, so, yes, there will be moans, so don't moan at me about me moaning!

Today 's subject - The Self Publicist

There are many good vids and pics on this site covering a wide variety of looks, kinks and fetishes. All of which are equally worthy of praise. The posters of these pics and vids do so by and large because they like people to see them and it’s a great turn on to know your vid or pic set has been able to turn someone on. Even just knowing its been watched by either someone you like, or a complete stranger gives a good feeling.

However, some people just don’t seem to be able to leave things to progress naturally and let people ‘find’ their posts – There are too many that insist on spamming their link to their pics and vids in the chat room, on blogs or in forums. I don’t get it. To me it’s kinda cheating as well as laced with arrogant overtones presuming that people will want 'your' vid shoved in their face.

If that wasn’t enough, its then the same people that will turn round and complain about people they don’t know adding them as friends and IMing them. Well, guess what? If you’re gonna be a self publicist, that shit is gonna happen. You can’t have it both ways.

Day 24 Things not to put on a blog Part 3 – The Public Out Pouring of Private Feelings This, I just do not get at all. Why do any of you that do this think the rest of us care. And these feelings for people you have never even seen? For fuck sake – wake up! It’s not real, and the rest of us don’t care about your fantasy loves. If you must pass this information on to somebody, then use the PM button, or the IM, or tell them in MSN. (By the way, if they don’t have you added there, it’s a good assumption they don’t want to hear of your love.) But please don’t take up blog ink on this crap.

Day 23

Today’s moan is aimed at guys making videos, and two groups in particular. 

The first are those that sit or stand in front of their cam for 5 minutes, do a good job, look good and then for reasons no one watching the uploaded vid will ever understand, they turn it off it before the end – before the cum shot!  That’s like sitting through a movie and leaving just as the plot lines pull together.  Its people like that that still have no idea who Keyser Soze is! 

The second group are almost the opposites – Those guys that just upload their cum shot, nothing else – just the cum shot.  And we have a 10 second vid uploaded while the previous 5 minutes ends up in the recycle bin.  People like to see the work that went into the cum shot, they want to know what caused it.  These vid uploaders are the type that don’t read a book, just skip to the last page to see how it ends.  These people know that Tarka died, but have no clue at all the she was an otter.

So, guys, ladies here on the site have told me that its important to know who Keyser Soze is, and its equally important to know that Tarka was an otter!  Just remember those two next time you make a vid, and you won’t go far wrong! 
 

Day 22

I want to turn my attention to those that seem to post a new video almost daily.  I don't want to discourage people posting vids - but is there really need for a new one virtually every day??  After all, how many different variations can we have on the same theme of a close up of your pussy being fucked by a vibe?

If there is variety, a change of position, a change of scenery, then thats not quite so bad - but remaking the same vid 5 times a week?  Please don't.

Day 21 

Things not to post on blogs part 2 – Another thing that pisses me off on blogs is the posting of song lyrics.  If we knew the song, we wouldn’t need to read the lyrics, and if we don’t know the song, more times than not it just reads like a very bad poem. 

And while I’m at it, a song written by someone else will very rarely, if ever, sum up how you feel about something.  If you want to give someone a song, then just fucking send the actual song to them over MSN, don’t inflict it on the rest of us!

Day 20

Now, I don't want to sound like I don't appreciate it when people upload their pics to share with us all - But there is one thing that really pisses me off.  Why the fuck do people insist on uploading single pics?!  And uploading about 10 single pics in one go.  The instructions to upload pictures are pretty clear and not exactly hard to follow.  So I can only assume its an ego and arragance thing so they see their face, tits etc plastered over pretty much a whole page when you go to view pictures, and i can also only assume that they have some misguided beleif that this is what people want to see.  Well, I think its time the realized it isn't!

I don't want people to stop uploading, just have a bit of good manners to upload a whole bunch together and stop stealing the limelight and pushing other deserving uploaders to page 2 so quickly!!

Demanding the limelight and taking centre stage is hardly the behavior of a good buttler is it?!

Day 19

Today’s topic is the jealous and possessive yuvu boyfriend. Everyone likes it when people find love, and although I doubt many come here looking for it, some do find it – and good for them! But what annoys me is when the guy suddenly turns into an ass when he meets a girl on yuvu and it becomes serious.

The way he accompanies her in every moment of her yuvu chat, leaping on any guy that so much as dares to say hello to his new found love, sometimes in a threatening and intimidating way. Does he forget where they are? Does he forget that at one time he too must have made advances towards her? And if he feels he has to be so protective, is it really because he has so little trust in her?

So, Mr Yuvu Boyfriend, if you can’t handle other guys praising your girlfriend and wanting her, why do you still come here? Either relax and enjoy the chat the way you probably used to and let your new found love make her own decisions and defense strategies against her admirers, or just leave everyone alone and take your macho insecurities elsewhere. But please – stop being such a protective ass and bringing an edge of nastiness to the chat room. If you wanked over her cam and vids – others always will do it to – and remember, you can take the girl out of Yuvu, but you’ll never take Yuvu out of the girl!

Day 18 - The first of probably a few things to do with the kinda blog I read on here.  So...

Things Not to Put in a Blog Part 1

Poetry you have written yourself - its usually not very good, and you're usually an unpublished writer for a very good reason - I think its better to keep that to your creative writing class.

This one might not get me many votes on the popularaty front, but come on, you gotta admit it - there is a lot of bad prose being blogged.

Day 17

A few days ago I poured my vat of boiling scorn on the male narcissus – today I want to drag the female equivalent down from their self-made ivory towers.  I’m probably going to catch Hell for this blog, but this subject really needs to be hammered home.

I have sat and listened to too many women on the site get swept away by their own conceited, egotistical belief that they are something special.  They enter chat at a low point in their lives, with little self-esteem and self confidence.  They receive a lot of nice comments and they begin to feel better about themselves.  That’s where it should stop.  But, it doesn’t.  They become self-involved and vain as they develop a misguided notion that someone actually means what they say.  They believe that the shit the horny man is saying to them is true as they look for a girl who will offer naked flesh and realize that here is a girl that will give it to them.

The girls seem to fail to make the connection that it is just their tits and pussies that are wanted, and appoint themselves as a queen of chat.  They begin to believe they should be worshipped!  They become cocky and unduly preoccupied by their own appearance – dressing especially for their chat room appearance and posting vids and pics with self-proclaiming beauty – the ‘my perfect tits’, the ‘for all my fans’ are two such examples.

Before anyone realizes it, they have become overbearing, condescending and nasty with a misguided belief that they “are” the chat, not a part of it. That people are flocking to the room just to see them.

Before too long the arrogance sets in.  The overwhelmed, excited attitude they had from all the attention they received when they started is replaced with a high-and-mighty attitude.  And the last stage, the worst stage, is when they turn on the hand that fed them.  I have witnessed this phenomenon several times (sorry ladies, but C*****, M******* and L*********, just to name a few). These women seem to reach a place in their own self-inflated ego where they feel they have a right to bash those that ask for things.

Oh, how quickly they forget it’s the very same people that gave them the confidence they sought to go on cam, make a vid or take a picture in the first place, just a few weeks before.

There is no reason to start being mean because you’re asked to show something of yourself.  Simply ignore the request or block the person.
 

Day 16

Today’s blog has taken me a whole lotta time to write – I wanted to give something a go that I have never done before.  I wanted to have a go at those that go on about tantric sex in blogs or in the chat room.  But before I did, I thought it only right that I had a go at it myself. 

First off, I tried to write a tantric blog.  I flirted with the keys, stroked without pressing, turned my PC off several times only to tease it and re start and put it in sleep mode while I left it humming and simmering while I went off to have a tantric cup of tea.  I turned the kettle off as it approached boiling point, let it cool some and flicked the switch on and off repeatedly. 

The result of my day?  A fused kettle and a PC that tells me I have performed an illegal operation and must re-install windows.  It seems that everything tantric really is crap – So can we not mention it anymore please?
 

Day 15 and my Maldives time is at an end! 

Quick one today - People that artificially bump up the views on their blogs!  There are some blogs that 10 minutes after been whipped on here have like 150 views.  I doubt it! especially when there is not one single comment left! 

I just don't get why someone would keep looking at their own blog just to make it look popular -  Im not so sure if its an insecurity thing or an arrogance thing.  Either way it pisses me right off, and no way on this god damn earth would you find me resorting to a cheap trick like that!!!

Day 14 - Starting to run out of topics, but hopfully I will make the 30 without too much repetition.

Following on from a gripe I had about crap whispers, today I want to bitch about the other side of that coin and how SOME people deal with whispers.

Am I the only one that finds it fucking annoying when whispers are answered in the main room?  How fucking rude is that?!  And to the rest of the people in the room, it means absolutely nothing.  Seeing "Yes whisperer" or "Mmmm please whisperer" etc is as annoying as the bloody msn addy spammers!

Sometimes the person even uses the whisperer's name in their response! Even ruder! and if you're gonna use the person's name - how much fucking extra effort is it to put < > round their name??

Along similar lines of annoyance are the phantom whispers.  When people respond to a whisper I would put a lot of money on that they never got.  All just to make them look popular, or so they can start a conversation about their favourite subject.  "Yes whisperer, I like threesomes" was one I saw recently, and off the person went for a day and a half talking about their group sex antics!

Its time to stop the response to phantom whispers, and if you're going to respond to ones that actually happen - have the common decency for everyones sake to whisper back.  Its no more effort to put the persons name in the brackets than it is to type 'whisperer'!!

Day 13 - short and sweet. 

Today's moan goes out to the people who repost a video after 6 months simply so it can generate new views to contribute to the yuvu index again and earn a free membership. 

Personally, I think its a bit of cheat and slips into that arrogant bracket again beleiving people will once again view, rate and comment.  If you want a free membership, then earn it properly by posting NEW vids, not reposting old tired ones that have gone past their shelf life. 

I do love to see a reposted vid bomb and fail!

Day 12 - And time  to turn my gripes and attention to Whispers, IMs and PMs - Thank you to my female friends for assisting me with this one, as its obviously much more a problem for women than for men.

Whispering ‘Hi’ – what the fuck is that about?  The girl immediately has a dilemma – does she reply and consign herself to a whispered conversation she doesn’t want, or ignore it and appear ignorant?

Never whisper to three different women that they are the sexiest girl in yuvu – Girls do talk to each other you know!  They will soon find out that you’re a twat and have clearly lied to at least two of them.

IMing a girl with your cam already on and cock out is poor behaviour – Just a hunch, but I can’t see this ever being well received – Do you really think she is just sat at the computer waiting for that shit to happen?

When PMing a girl you have never spoken to before about their vid or pic, just a simple compliment will usually suffice as an ice breaker “Hi, I loved your vid, very sexy.  I hope to see more” will do – There really is no need to add “When can I have you sat on my face/cock” at the end of it.  Just because a girl has posted a vid does not mean that she is massively horny 24/7 and will be bored by a PM that doesn’t involve graphic descriptions.

Don’t sit there with your cam on whispering 10 different girls – Its only your whisper they can’t see – they can still see that your typing away and do have the intelligence to realise when nothing appears on screen that you’re whispering the same shit to all of them.  This is most commonly seen when a guy is wanking and breaks off to type “This is all for you baby” before copying it to any girl he can find

Don’t PM a girl after she has posted a vid or pics telling her what you want to see.  It just makes you look an ungrateful ass for what you have been given!  The girl will have an imagination of her own, she doesn’t need your suggestion of how she should spread her legs with your name written in permanent marker along her inner thigh!  If they want suggestions, I’m pretty sure they will ask for them

Just because someone has left a comment on your pics or vids does not mean they want to be added to your friends list and constantly bombarded with IMs and PMs with detailed descriptions of what you want to do with them.  This is especially true when your suggestions are still illegal in 7 states.

Don’t send a PM suggesting a girl shaves or grows her pubic hair back.  I think its fair to say she really couldn’t give a fuck what your personal preference is.

 

Day 11, and we are onto a big ‘piss off’ for me with this one – the yuvu narcissus (male version – my gripe about the female equivalent will no doubt be aired before the month is out)

This refers to the men who cruise around the chat, and are a far more punchable type than the troll, who, by and large, know they are just pervs who have no idea where there next real fuck is coming from.  The Narcissus is a troll with arrogance, a loud mouth know it all with an ego even bigger than he thinks his own cock is.

They breeze into a room, announcing their presence like everyone should give a fuck.  They will leap on any girl on cam or audio within seconds without even having the good manners or patience to see if they are already involved in a conversation.  They do this because they are big headed enough and overbearing enough to actually believe that ALL women in chat will want to play with them.  They firmly believe in their conceited world, that they are the best man there!

They claim that their cock is the biggest in yuvu, and they may have photoshoped pic to ‘prove’ that.  If they do turn their cam on in the room, it will be to perform some pre rehearsed peacock strut, probably wearing a tight pair of boxers. 

Usually though, invitations to private cam to cam sessions will be the order of the day, as they really do have the false self belief to assume any girl will drop what, or who they are doing in chat to run off to a private play session with them.

They will never contribute anything of any note to the chat room, as they are too busy whispering all the crap in the world to 4 or 5 different women.  And if a woman does play with them, they will cum and run with the belief that the girl has enjoyed the best time of her life. 

Well Mr Narcissus, let me just let you know that, no, she didn’t, she just had a wank, and she probably thinks you’re as  big a tosser as I do!

So please, learn some manners, leave your ego at the door, oh, and take the fucking socks out of your boxers!!
 

Day 10 – For my things that annoy me today, I want to focus on things in the chat room that will get me screaming ‘Fuck Off!’ at my screen...

Don’t start a conversation about your technical problems when everyone is playing and having fun – It isn’t gonna go down well, and I’ve never seen anyone put a vibe down to start giving advice about what Flash Player is the best one to have installed. Choose your moment carefully to aire your software dilemmas.

Don’t keep saying hello over and over again to someone, making their name longer and longer each time by repeating the last letter – Being an ass isn’t going to get them to stop a conversation and start talking to you. Just because they said ‘Mmmm’ to you three weeks ago when you went on cam is not a reason why you will be forever engraved on their mind or the root of every fantasy they have.

Competition makers – Don’t – This isn’t some Italian game show. For example, trying to engineer a competition between girls to see who has the best tits, who has the cutest smile, the dirtiest laugh etc. Getting girls to act like performing seals won’t win friends and influence people

Saying BRB is sufficient – we don’t need to know which bodily fluid or solid you plan to pass

Don’t say how crap the chat room is, and how boring it is – you will just get 38 people telling you to fuck off! Which in itself becomes annoying

Don’t steer conversations towards how bad your period pains are – We don’t care, but thanks for letting us know that a play with you this week is out of the question.

It never needs 30 people to tell a troll to stop pestering a woman on cam. I think you’ll find the woman in question is more than capable of doing it herself. If she cares, she will deal with it or block them.

Don’t go in chat with the sole intention of finding a girl to go private with and after 10 minutes of whispering "just for you baby" has failed start spamming your msn addy in every room you can find. Ever wondered why the girls are in the room and not in private already – You can guarantee its not just cos they were waiting for your cock to appear in their IM window!

Don’t dare women to show their tits or pussy – They are on cam in a sex chat room – its clear they dare, and by asking, it makes it pretty obvious you are 14 years old taking a sicky from sc.h ool and missing the behind the bike shed chat with the sc. h ool  slut

Don’t flit your attention ad hoc between girls, trying to tell three of them at once, yet individually, what you would do to each if you were with them now. It’s not going to make them feel special, but it will highlight your desperation and ensure you spend the evening wanking alone!

Don’t ask each girl in the room in turn if they have you docked. If they don’t have the blue V by their name, you know very fucking well they aren’t watching, and it’s probably because you’re a sleazy pestering shite!

Don’t assume we all share your musical taste and inflict on us some crap on your audio while you’re also trying to talk – That is just fucking annoying.

Don’t beg girls to dock you claiming you’re wanking just for them – No you’re not – you’re wanking cos you’re horny as fuck and want to cum – that’s the only reason!

Don’t spam your msn or yahoo addy in the chat room. It reeks of arrogance, laziness and desparation. Besides you have already posted it on every girls profile on the site, and we really have run out of gay video sites, dodgy insurance companies, vi.a -gra retailers, transvestite clothes retailers etc to add you to the mailing lists of.

Day 9, and the first of several more visits to the chat room for today's thing that annoys!

People with alternative Chat Names!  What is that about?  Ok, some people may have several names everyone knows about, others may have a different name so they can just sit in chat, not talkand watch the world drift by. 

But why do people have a different ID and invent a different fucking personality and life to go with it??  Even worse is when they then engage with 'friends' they have with their other personality to try to find things out, to gather gossip, to stir trouble, or simply to see if anyone will bitch about them behind their back.

If you're gonna play with matches, you will get burned - and I doubt i'll be head of the queue to piss on you when you do!

Day 8 -- and now I feel the need to talk about squirting vids! I do have an open mind on this topic, and I do believe that some women do squirt, SOME, maybe even a lot of you -- but please -- don’t just have a piss and pretend you’re actually squirting! And if you do, at least moan loudly and make it look moderately like you’re having one fucking big earth shattering orgasm! I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that if you’re really squirting your reaction won’t be as if someone has just given you a hot cup of coffee and a donut.  So if you do not have the signs to accompany the ‘squirt’, then please just come clean, and say you had a little wee!

Day 7’s thing that pisses me off is the opposite of yesterday’s, when I complained about people not reading a vid's description and title before watching and commenting in a negative fashion.   

The flip side of that is uploaders who it seems have no idea what their vid contains!  I can't tell you the  number of vids I’ve seen with ‘Anal’ in the title, but after watching for 5 minutes, it ends with not even a glimpse of ass let alone a cock in it!   

So please, make sure your vid ACTUALLY contains what you say it does whether it be anal, facial, BJ, squirting (I‘ll be revisiting this area, which I think deserves a day to itself!).  Oh, and while I’m on descriptions, 99.9% of the time, no, it isn’t you fucking your mate’s wife!  Its you, fucking your own wife!!!

Day 6 of the month’s blog and I haven’t run out of things that piss me off yet!

Today I want to turn on some people’s inability to read! When a vid or set of pictures is uploaded, most users will use the title and description section to give an accurate overview of the content. This seems to be ignored by some people.

A title may read "BBW getting fucked" – it’s a reasonable conclusion to draw that the vid may well contain a larger than average framed lady indulging in sexual intercourse. Don’t then watch the video and leave a comment about how disgusted you were, and how you hate fat women!!

Similarly, don’t watch a clip with words like "domination", "BDSM", "Slave", "Master" etc and leave some wank comment about it being disrespectful to women and calling them a chauvinistic pig. If you don’t like, or just don’t get that kind of thing – Don’t fucking watch it.

So please, If you can take the time to leave an abusive comment, at least take the time to read the fucking title and take a second to decide whether the vid will be to your taste. Honestly, some fucking people!

Day 5, and I’m back, despite one user who was kind enough to post a comment on my profile informing me that "This is boring shit no one wants to read... Give it up you boring twat!!!". I’m assuming as they spoke for the whole community in that comment that they had either carried out a big survey, or was just arrogant enough to believe their view would be the view of everyone. After a little thought, I decided it was probably the latter.

Which brings me to today’s gripe, and one I will be revisiting several times throughout the month – Arrogance. Personally I find this an ugly trait in people, and there is plenty of it around the Yuvu community. For example, some people seem to expect everyone to like their vids or pics and to give them 5 stars, and even sulk and post comments and forum posts moaning that some people don’t like their work and suggesting they are being insulted! One great thing about this site is that it is real. It is not some suburb of the 70s where everyone loves everything and everyone. When a vid or pic is posted, it will not appeal to everyone – nothing ever will, and nor should it. I’m not saying there is room for simple abuse along the lines of "You fat cow", "Eat some food you skinny witch" or "What a pathetic little cock you have". However, I do think there is room for people to comment and say they didn’t like something or didn’t like some aspect of a vid without then receiving personal abuse back from an arrogant poster. It seems to me that an increasing number of people will attack someone who dares to give an honest opinion, even when it is not done in a nasty way. How dull would it be if every vid had 5 stars and a host of glowing ‘you’re so wonderful’ comments?

Just because I personally don’t like something doesn’t make me either ‘fat’ or ‘boring’! Criticism is part of life, but it seems the more arrogant someone is, the less able they are to take it, and the more likely they are to respond with personal attacks. While people should not be scared to post because they are worried of negative comments, neither should they be scared to criticise something either. We are all adults, and all capable of having our own views which we should be able to express in an adult manner. Unfortunately it seems some are not – both those that leave nasty personal attacks and comments, and those that respond to a negative comment like a sulking *****.

Not a laugh along one this one, just my personal view – because I would never be arrogant enough to speak for the masses, after all, I’m not a Movie Star!

Im returning to the chat room again for Day 4's grumpy moment.  This time I want to complain about some things that people do on cam.  I don't think I'm on my own when I think that a cam is for faces and rude bits and SOME rude things.  The following are examples of things people have done (not one is made up, well, ok, one is, but I'm allowed a fantasy!) and that they continue to do while on cam.  My request is simple - Please DO NOT.....

Do your hair, nails or make up - It is not a fun spectator sport.  i don't like watching my own wife do it, I certainly don't want to watch anyone elses do it, especially when it lasts for hour after fucking hour!

Obscure a cum shot with a white tissue - Lady friends tell me it ruins the moment - Sometimes its best to actually wait until afterwards before you start cleaning up.  Although it is worth pointing out that post ejaculation is the only time in a man's life he is ever compelled to feel like cleaning up a mess he has made.

Knit - If I wanted to watch women knit, i would pop down the day care centre and do something worthwhile in the community

Turn your cam off the milli second after you have cum - Rude, rude, rude!

Dress up in a pvc costume that would only look good on someone half your size and age - And if you do insist on doing it, buy one that fits.  And also, don't add insult to injury by taking stills of it and posting them as photos

Put a coke can next to your cock to show how similar in size and shape they are - Highlighting abnormaility of a cock is not sexy.  Also, have you thought about why not many women, well, none that I know of, actually masturbate with a Coke Can?

Put an apple up your ass in the name of eroticism – It might be big, but it’s not clever, and its a waste of a perfectly good apple

Fuck MY girfriend on cam 5 minutes after she has phoned me to let me know she will be late home because she is stuck in a meeting at work - You've got your own partner for that kind of on cam activity!

Eat a meal – Have you any idea how fucking annoying it is watching that shit?  And if your audio is on as well, I swear, I will find you, and I will harm you!  Try watching someone put an apple in his ass prior to mealitime to help you resist the temptation of doing this.

Getting your Jap’s Eye very close to the camera and squeezing it open so viewers can practically see your bladder - We are in the room to chat and perv, not carry out medical examinations.

Show nothing except a buttoned blouse for hours on end. - Even if you happen to be wearing it at the time, its still not good viewing material

Push a screwdriver down your cock - That is just fucking horrible!

Drive a car - Unless there is only you on the road and a brick wall incredibly close to the car's hood, or bonnet as I beleive the English like to call it - aren't they quant!

Man handle your breasts like they are an executive squeezy stress relief ball - It looks like it hurts and isnt erotic.  Would you like it if we actually grabbed them and threw them around like that in the midst of sexual activity?  No, I thought not.

Wank by just undoing your zip and pulling your pathetic cock out the way you do on the train on the way home from work - Mainly because it makes you look like you're a flasher on a train, plus the zip can cause a nasty graze or chaffe, apparently.

Read a book ignoring the chat room completely - If you're gonna do that, you might as well fuck off.

Carry out any domestic chore or DIY activity - Unless of course you're naked, or the DIY activity is having a wank.

Ignore the room while you have a conversation in MSN/Yahoo - Again, If you're gonna do that, you might as well fuck off.  My only hope when people do that is that the person on the other end of the conversation is reading a book and ignoring them.

Read endlessly, page after mind numbing page, from a book out loud to anyone that has you docked. - Even if it is an erotic story, we are not in chat for Jackanory or Read With Mother!

and finally...

Fuck a blow up doll – That activity really should be reserved for the privacy of  a darkened room so you don't even catch sight of yourself in a mirror doing it.  And definately don’t hump a doll when you have to stop 3 times to blow the fucking thing back up!

 

Day 3 and all is going well on my challenge, although I think I may have peaked a bit too early!

Today's thing that pisses me off are the guys that post their msn and yahoo addresses on the comments section of every girls profile they can find!  I guarantee there will be no woman reading this that hasn't had one of those comments - And, if you haven't, either you joined no more than 10 minutes ago, or you posted vids or pics that maybe you shouldnt have!

I wouldn't mind if they even said hello, here is my Yahoo address.  Or if they made  little reference to pictures, or videos, or having seen them in chat.  But no - Its just there IM address - nothing else!  I guess a slighty personalised comment can't be used when they just sit there pasting it all day!  Some of them even post it more than once on the same girl's profile a month later - as if thinking, 'maybe she just forgot! I'll remind her what my addy is!"

What i really hope is that one of these  men has spent a full day pasting his IM address into hundreds of profiles, only to realise, on the last one, before he called it a day, that he had made a spelling mistake!  However, i guess it wouldn't make much difference because I would wager the $5 I really don't want to spend on Dianna's Cat Suit that not one woman has ever, ever, or will ever add a guy to their msn or yahoo soley on the strengh that he left his address on their comments section.  If any woman has ever done so, then please tell me why!

So Mr DancesWithWolves, and all your friends - stop, please in the name of sanity - STOP!

Day 2 of my blogging Marathon and Im still going strong - While out on my 36 mile cycle ride today, and afterwards while relaxing in my pliate's class - I spent some time thinking about what I would make sarcastic comments about, or who i would target for my remarks.  I decided, after spending a while in chat, that i would have a go at anyone in the chat room who says one thing, but means another and also explain what some of the terminology used in there means.  All of these, all have been said in there - and the offenders - you know who you are!

“Baby/babes/babe” - The name given to a woman by a man that he has seen on cam once before and therefore feels he has earned the right to use such a term of affection

"This is just for You" - A term whispered by a man on cam to every woman in the room to let them know individually how special they all are as he wanks on cam - Can be used in conjunction with baby/babes/babe

“I'd describe myself as atheletic” = I have really really small tits

“Im 30 something” Im 41, well, I was 6 years ago

“I’d say I’m curvy” = Everyone calls me fat

“I’d say I’m cuddly” = Everyone calls me really fat

“Oh, I love eating out” = I’m a lazy fat cowt and just can’t even be bothered to put in the microwave family meal for myself tonight, So I’m gonna go get me Pizza

“I have an 11” cock" = I don’t have a cam
 
"Hey, I've missed you baby" = I really need a wank

"Hey, where have you been?" = Its only now that you’re here that i realise you havent been on for a while

“You have the best lips/tits/body/pussy on yuvu” = You're the only woman with a cam on and I want to wank to you ...

"K, I gotta go" = I have just cum on cam and now feel a little self conscious so I’m gonna cum and run

"Can i add you as a friend" = Can i fuck you. 
"Hi" = Can i fuck you,
"Do you have msn" = can i watch you while i fuck you
“I love you” - can I fuck you
“I just love your voice/eyes/laugh/legs/tits/hair = can i fuck you
"Does your husband know you chat on here" = Can I fuck you - the deception turns me on
"Can I fuck you" = Id really like to develop a deep and meaningful relationship, but I've never spoken to a real girl before and am unsure how to go about it

"Im new here" = I have been using a different username for a year, but am keen to see if i can catch anyone out talking about me behind my back"

"open tits" = I haven’t yet learnt the English for I love your eyes

"Turn your cam on, your smile always makes me happy" = Your tits give me a hard on and I’m horny right now

"I die for you this day" = I’m a fucking weirdo!

"Guys, please don’t watch my cam" = I’m homophobic yet extremely unsure about my sexuality, and that confuses me

“Dont go ! you got me all horny baby” = Don’t you know it's your responsibility to make sure that every guy who comes in chat cums while watching you play

"Are you not going on cam/mic today" = I just wanna know if its worth my while pretending I like you and being nice to you

“Oh yeah, I got you docked” when said by a woman = Your docked, but on a browser that’s minimised.  When said by a man = “I’m about to cum and run”

"Is my cam working?" = will someone, anyone please watch me cum

"Did you like that baby" = I need to know I wasn’t docked on a browser that’s minimised

“you’re funny” = I don’t really fancy you and I don’t want to fuck you

“Have you got any vids” = I really want a wank, but cant actually be bothered to talk to you right now

"I love it when you tease" - stop being a fucking prick tease, you bitch and open tits!

“You make me so horny” = I was horny and hard as granite when I got here, but hey if it gets you to watch me cum and run I'll try anything

“What kind of man turns you on” = I have no cam, I WILL fit the bill

“You’ve always been my favorite” = None of the girls I usually creep round are in chat at the moment

“My Cam is broken” I lied about my description – A lot








 

During a recent satisfying session with a friend they set me something of a personal “challenge”.  They said I couldn’t have a blog a day throughout November where I raised the issue of something that annoyed me, or where I made some sarcastic, or plain piss taking comment about some aspect of yuvutu.

After some thought, I accepted the challenge, realising it was already actually November the 2nd and therefore I had failed before I started, but as this challenge is all about failings, its off to a good start!

So, on to my first gripe, I’ll start with a mild one – People’s user names.  Those that include words in their name like ‘Huge’, ’Massive’, ‘Beautiful’, ‘Sexy’ and ‘God/Godess’ very rarely live up to their claim, and strangely also very rarely appear on cam to back up the accuracy of such user names in chat.  Akin to this, is the titles people put on their photos or vids – Titles like “Awesome Cum Shot”, “My Perfect Tits”.  I think the viewers should be the judge of how awesome or perfect something is!  Can I suggest just “My Cum Shot”, or “My Tits” its plain, simple and doesn’t stink of arrogance or false advertising!

I’m looking forward to the road ahead – I’m not saying it will be easy, there will be some tricky moments along the way.  I will learn a lot about my self by carrying out this challenge, but I will do it, and I will have some fucking good fun along the way!